Friday, May 13, 2011

The Long and the Short of It: Ebony's Corner


Special Agent Ebony Dawg, code name Hoover, reporting in for my scheduled briefing, sir!

As ordered, I’ve been keeping my nose to the ground, and Operation Kitty Litter has had a few developments in the last week.  First, we confirmed that the big black neighborhood stray cat the nefarious Dr. Miao [cue evil laugh] is still alive and in the area.  I repeat: Dr. Miao is still in the area.  Around 10 hundred hours, when I was asleep under the fuzzy brown blankie on the couch quelling an insurrection of squirrels on the southern border, my mom a confidential, reliable source sighted Dr. Miao “slinking along the back fence behind the primroses.”  She (Dr. Miao, not my source) allegedly looked with evil intent toward the house headquarters and then snuck out through the broken board in the corner a secret escape hatch.

In the second development, Dr. Miao’s right-hand evil henchcat, Kung Pao, was caught doing research around headquarters in broad daylight.  I chased the suspect up a tree and held her there until back-up arrived and she was taken in for questioning.  For reasons beyond my security clearance, Mom made me come in and leave her alone she was released on her own recognizance.  You may be able to find out more, sir.  I’m hoping at least some sort of tracking device was planted before her release.
Prisoner 481-516-2342, a.k.a. Kung Pao
The third development has the greatest potential ramifications for the operation.  My dad Another reliable, confidential source witnessed Dr. Miao and Kung Pao “going at it tooth and claw” on Saturday.  Unfortunately, I was having a bath undergoing torture at the hands of the enemy at the time and did not witness the event myself.  If the report is true, it would seem to indicate unrest within Dr. Miao’s organization.  Perhaps her power is weakening.  Further investigation will be needed to determine what a change of leadership would mean for our operation and whether support of a coup would be in our best interests.  Our analysts are working on that now.  Will report back with more details as soon as possible, sir.

That concludes my findings for today, sir.  Hoover, over and out.

Editor’s note: No actual cats were harmed in the making of this blog post.  Mocked?  Perhaps.  Not actually harmed, though.
A joyful heart is good medicine,
    but a broken spirit dries up the bones (Proverbs 17:22, HCSB).